Looks Like We Made It To the End....but it's not over

Right, I'm back. I have resisted writing anything here, until it came from my heart. I don't want to be writing a blog for the sake of it, it needs to be felt in some way.

The thing is, as a bridal life coach who works with people as they plan and prepare to get married much of my passion for this came from my own profound experience. And now, I am separating from my husband so I have had to question where that leaves me.

At the beginning of the year, I read something about Kate Hudson after she split from her husband of seven years. She said, 'I don't regret a second of my marriage. Thank God for Chris. He made me partly who I am. We had a great time. We love each other deeply. We have an amazing son." I also read elsewhere that she great memories of her wedding day and wouldn't change anything.

Well the same is true for me. I wouldn't, for one nano second, wish to change what we did. Our wedding day will stay in my heart forever. There was happiness and contentment then and that doesn't change because we are now choosing to go our separate ways.

We have been in a relationship for over twenty years and I hope that Gary will continue to figure strongly in my life, at the very least as the father of our son. My love for Gary continues, constant and strong and I can't imagine a time when that will stop.

So, really where does that leave me as a bridal life coach? Am I still qualified and credible to work in this capacity? I have come to the conclusion that yes, I am, perhaps even more so. My approach is one of down to earth realism. It is about honorable, truthful intention at the time for that is the utmost that anyone can do.

It is about being authentic and bringing a whole person to your wedding day and into your marriage with eyes wide open. It is also about love in all it's guises, on all levels and love is something that I have come to understand increasingly because of what I have lived through in the last months and the decisions that have been made with absolute clarity and conviction arising from deep contemplation. And actually, I think that such decisions can only really be made out of love. Just as the decision to get married came from love, the one to separate came from the same place, strange as it may seem.

This was never the plan but this is how it is, this is life. If I was living a lie, staying in the marriage for the wrong reasons then I think that I would find it nigh on impossible to coach with an open heart for I would be hiding something fundamental.

I have stated my case, satisfied myself that the end of my own marriage doesn't have to be the end of getting married from the Inside out, but in fact it has added another dimension and another deeper level that can be integrated into the whole.

Getting Married from the Inside Out has evolved! Just as anything with life in it should do.

Let the Good Times Roll-Again

Oh. The last entry was 29th October-not a daily blog, a weekly blog, not even a monthly blog. My birthday came and went, Christmas and now New Year. Here's to 2009 and a much more regular blog!

I have though been thinking about the blog, about topics of conversation and how the face of weddings, the economy and the world has changed since I began this just over sixteen months ago.

It seems that the wedding world really is having to adjust to the fact that there isn't nearly so much money flying around. With the exception of the very affluent, people are having to take it easy, compromise, scale down, be less extravagent and lavish, perhaps more down to earth and real about things. It's making couples consider what's important, what they really do want and many, it's true to say are simply cancelling the whole thing. Will they ever get around to doing it-will they even stay together?

I'm glad it's happened. We are in the age of the recycled, second hand, retro, ebay bargain and it's a much warmer , more fun place to be. Resourcefulness, creativity, gratitude and value-things that had gone missing by the masses are now visible again! It can only be a good thing. How many stories have you heard about the war-about how people pulled together, valued the bits they had, where every gesture and act of kindness had meaning and the simplest things made an impact. OK it's not quite the same but for the spoiled brigade of 21st Century it will be a long overdue wake up call.

Hello 2009 and welcome! It's going to be an interesting year. I look forward to aligning my stories with the ups and downs, celebrations and tribulations and all that occurs in the world over the next twelve months.