Arrange Me a Marriage

Another angle, another show about marriage. This time, not strictly weddings-though that's obviously the desired end result for the people who have put themselves up for this. With their belief that they will find 'the one' by normal Western methods on the wane, they have offered themselves to Aneela Rahman, an attractive Asian woman-who will take them down the more direct husband hunting route favoured by Asian cultures. That's the idea of Arrange Me a Marriage currently airing on BBC2 ''What matters,'' Aneela says, ''is matching up class, expectations, family and earnings.''

What about chemistry? And love? I think that's supposed to gradually grow. It's an interesting debate-What's best, marriage for romantic purposes or pragmatic ones? There is a strong case for each -I understand why we in the West, eventually came around to the idea of Romantic marriage but we live in a throw away culture where divorce can be filed for after just twelve months and perhaps if were to adopt some of the strategies used in Eastern and some African cultures, we may end up with more suitable partners. It's so hard to judge well when you are in love!

I wonder, when a final choice is made from a selection of suitors presented by the family, does the Indian bride still ask How can I be sure? How do I know I'm doing the right thing? Is this really the one? Some Western brides-and grooms, drive themselves insane looking for definite answers. A sign from above-whatever.

Can anybody ever be 100% sure? I really don't think so and it's necessary to accept that. Getting married is something of a leap of faith however you found your partner because we cannot know what lies ahead. The best that you can do is to let go of expectations, go with the flow of life, be open-minded and rock solid in your own reasons for getting married and saying 'yes' in the first place.

When you have clarity on what you are doing, why you are doing it and what marriage means to you, when you have acknowledged and thoroughly understood your intentions then your intuition, your gut feeling will give you an indication of whether you are doing the right thing for yourself or not. Truly, it will. The question is, are you prepared to listen to it.?