To Wed or Not to Wed, That is the Question

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From The Times
January 23, 2008

'Living together is just as good as being married, even when it comes to bringing up children, British people now believe.

Fewer than a fifth of people think there is much difference between being married or living together and more than half say that weddings are more about celebration than life-long commitment.

Only 28 per cent think married couples make better parents than unmarried pairs.
Research also discovered that most people think divorce is a normal part of life, with two thirds saying that it can be “a positive step towards a new life”.

Even when children are involved divorce is no longer seen as a disaster, with 78 per cent saying the end of a marriage in itself does not harm children, although conflict between parents does.

The number of Britons choosing to get married fell to the lowest level in 111 years in 2005, when only 244,000 weddings took place.

The last 20 years had brought a dramatic liberalisation of attitudes towards family life.

Family campaigners said they were disappointed that the public thought cohabiting and marriage were the same.

Harry Benson, head of the Bristol Community Family Trust, said: “The findings are not surprising. It is socially acceptable to live together, the government says it doesn’t matter if you are married or not. From the outside if looks the same whether you are married or not.

I'm constantly involved in debate of whether marriage is an outdated institution or not and whether it even has any relevance to today's modern woman.

It is a worthy, interesting and necessary discussion. Times have changed dramatically. Our roles in life are different to how they were even twenty years ago let alone in the 50's and 60's. Our expectations are far reaching, our dreams and desires know no bounds and today anything is possible. It's easy to see why, to some, the idea of marriage may seem safe, boring, uneccessary and well, a bit passe. Many are confused as to how it fits into our society.

So, the general structure of marriage must move with the times-it must evolve or it will be left behind, unable to work effectively in our fast moving modern world. It is not what it was and neither should it be but a more contemporary approach, attitude and understanding of the idea of marriage can work.

At the centre of it all, we as human beings still have the same desires, the same basic needs and the traditional core values in life still have a central place. It's possible to combine that with some new ideas, a less rigid structure, a set up that suits the 21st Century man and woman, giving them both the opportunity, freedom and encouragement to be who they are as individuals as well as a married couple.

It's true-there's not enough thought, contemplation or preparation put into a high percentage of todays new marriages. It's all about the wedding-the great big wonderful wedding and while the lure of that is obvious, nothing great was ever built on hot air.

Marriage is not, has never been, for everyone but I do believe that there is a real place for it and presented in a different, more relevant, meaningful light, it can grab the attention of those who are dismissing it without a thought and change the approach, attitude and perception of those whose thoughts have not ventured beyond their wedding day.