Tuesday, 14 October 2008

The Name Game

The nuptial journey decision to keep your name, change your name, double barrel or merge your names is causing quite a dilemma. Unless you are an uncomplicated, traditional type of which there are dwindling numbers, then you will be wrestling with letting go of your single name especially if you are more mature. There are forum debates galore about it where the feminist inclined voices say strongly and clearly, No! This is my name and I'm keeping it .FOREVER!

How do you decide what's right for you? Is keeping your name a bit like keeping one foot firmly in your single life and then are you truly committing as much as you can? Or, is that a very simplistic view that undermines female equality. Is our world now just too contemporary that taking the mans name seems archaic, an outdated, chauvinistic leaning that only men in the deepest , darkest north of England have?

Well, I'm an independent sort of girl but rather liked taking my husbands name. It was the kind of change that I needed to make me realise that I really was married. It was fresh and new and different. I still use use my single name of Stratton and both names as a writer and coach. But my family name is Hughes. I'm all of them-happily.

In deciding I think that it's necessary to delve and work out how deep the name identity goes for you. What are your values, your morals and your attitude to being married? How do different names affect the children-if at all? Or, if you go for the double (barrel) how does that work out in the future when Chloe Sefton -Webb wants to unite with Thomas Holby- Derbyshire. What on earth will they do? It's a very real problem looking at the names of kids in schools these days there's more double barrels than at the average polo match. The local comp has gone all aristocratic and though it sounds quite natty and creative -it's not very practical. It will be a nightmare to trace lineage. And right there is a very sound and sensible reason for taking the blokes name-if only for family purposes. And to that people will say well why not the womans name-to which I answer -why not the blokes-it's traditional, quite romantic, what's the problem with it? Keep it simple.

Freedom to choose is good-yes it is , we all deserve it and we need to do what is true for us. It's just that I think given the chance, some people are prone to making a big fuss and drama about that which they are not really too bothered about just to be noticed that little bit more. I also think that some are resisting the so called less glamorous side of being married. Mrs to some isn't very sexy sounding but it will be what you make it. Take Mrs. Robinson, for example...

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