The fabulous newlyweds!

It's never too late and you're never too old and this heart warming story proves it. James Mason is 93 and last week he married his younger bride Peggy Clark who is only 85! What spirit, what joie de vivre. They had known each other just a matter of days before he proposed on bended knee and after Peggy accepted with delight, she helped him up again.

The worlds press and media jumped on the story and Peggy and James found themselves thrust into the limelight as Britains oldest newly weds. The really great thing about this story is that they aren't just together for companionship alone, they appear to be head over heels in love, unable to stop cuddling and kissing and they both felt the pull and attraction the moment they met. It was, they say, love at first sight.

It's great that the media brought this to our attention but I think a bit of a shame that their very special wedding was invaded by press and the constantly flashing cameras and endless interviews meant that they didn't get to talk to each other all day.

How must it feel to marry at that age? How must it be to take wedding vows and truly commit to being together until your dying day? Surely, this is one couple that will be living in the moment, appreciating every minute together and living each day as if it is their last. They could probably teach us a lot.

Shake it up , baby!

I cannot contain my excitement and I am about to repeat myself in saying how great Don't Tell the Bride is. I just love this show! I could cry, actually I did a little watching episode 2 . Here, we have a cash strapped couple, living with their respective parents and getting married after the lovely Mayeta(she)proposed to JP (he) a year ago.

They are unconventional though she has streak of tradition running through her. He is intelligent, quirky, independent minded and put together a fabulously authentic wedding that reflected their individuality and expressed their essence as a couple. What a star! During the four weeks that they were apart, when he planned the entire wedding, they both took time to reflect on their reasons for getting married, their intentions, their feelings and their commitment to each other. They learned things about themselves which they brought to their wedding day.

The reason this show works is because the normal way to plan a wedding is turned around and shaken up and in the process, it wakes up the people involved. They are not just mindlessly walking the same path that other have trodden before them. A different approach changes the landscape, gives it a fresh perspective and asks different questions. JP saw it as an opportunity to mature and as proof of his strong and genuine feelings for Mayeta.

The success of this show depends on the couple but it is my feeling that any truly conventional couple would just not go for the whole set up. It requires some risk taking, which lets face it goes against the grain of most weddings i.e.predictable safe,commercial,and no surprises.

We are so long overdue for a change in how we look at Getting Married and planning a wedding-it feels tired,tedious and shallow when it can be so vibrant, inspired and life changing. My contribution to change is to present Getting Married from the Inside Out wherever and whenever I can so that more people step off that well trodden path and mark out their own route to their wedding day. Innovative, captivating shows like Don't Tell the Bride just fuel my desire and hearten me like you wouldn't believe.

Fantasy Weddings

A couple of weeks ago, I was involved in a documentary for Channel 5 about women who are planning their wedding but have no partner. That is,they are not in a relationship and therefore have no-one to marry, yet, they are still, seriously planning their wedding.

I was asked why they may do this and why the wedding fantasy is so powerful. Well, of course there is no one defining answer and each person will have a different set of reasons to drive them to such behaviour. I do believe though that the root of this lies in how much we are captivated and influenced by stories and how we identify with certain characters within the stories. We role play from an early age and for many females it is the princess that they aspire to be like. The one that is beautiful, rich, revered by many, special, important and rescued by the handsome prince.

For some people those two dimensional fairy stories continue into adulthood and that fairytale wedding is the realisation of their dreams. It signifies social success, status amongst their peers and validation that they are indeed, important, beautiful and worthy of love. For so many women that one wedding day represents so much.

For a minority of women, the fantasising has reached extreme proportions. So much that they have overlooked the importance of one vital ingredient-that of a partner. So focused are they on their fairytale wedding that they have arrested the development of other areas of their lives. They are out of balance and not rooted in reality and if a suitable partner does come their way, it is very likely that they will scare them off when they reveal that they have their wedding already planned!

Even today, in our modern world, full of confident, independent and successful woman, the wedding obsession exists. For many it really is the extension of their childhood fantasies and the news that Disney's 'princess weddings' has now become one of their most successful marketing ventures ever worth over $4billion, seems to reflect just that.

Sometimes, it is as if The Wedding and Getting Married are two very different things with no connection to each other. For some, unfortunately, the decision to get married has shallow roots-it is motivated by nothing more than the overwhelming desire to make their lifelong dreams come true and finally be the beautiful bride at their own fairytale wedding.

Really, the only thing that separates them from the women who are the subject of the documentary, is the fact that they have managed to find someone to have a wedding with.

Don't Tell The Bride

I normally have lots of negative things to say about all these TV Wedding shows but Don't Tell The Bride currently showing on BBC3 is an exception. It has so much going for it. The role reversal aspect turns everything on its head , forcing the bride to relinquish control while her husband to be plans the entire wedding without her knowing what decisions he is making. Her true feelings about the meaning of her wedding are free to come to the surface as her time and attention isn't being taken up with the usual planning.

This is a revealing show, that challenges the bride and groom in different ways and the fact that the wedding must be put together in four weeks with a £12,ooo budget and they must stay apart from each other during that time gives it many layers and dimensions.

I think that it's a fantastic idea, a great experiment that can actually do the bride and groom a lot of favours with respect to where their values lay and understanding what their intentions are towards each other. I also think that it is a brave couple who decide to do this knowing what the restrictions are though I'm sure that they haven't fully considered just what they are letting themselves in for. Indeed, the bride above-Katy Ollerenshaw absolutely freaked when she tried on the dress that Sam had chosen for her-and ended up borrowing the one she finally wore(above).

I like ideas that shake things up and change the perspective and I'm interested in watching what happens when a wedding is approached and planned in this way. Anything, anything to break the formula, the predictable set up. Something, that at last gets inside the minds of the couple and shows more than just an outer layer. Hallelujah!

Buck the Trend

Just as I completed the last post I ran head first into an article entitled Celebrity Wedding Trends: What's In Style. Oy Veh! Is there no escape from this?

I learn that their cakes are tall opposed to wide, they are into involving their pets, they are keen on doing it far away places and Katie Holmes is responsible for the resurrection of wedding gowns with sleeves? And, we either fall into the category of famous or non famous, celebrity or non-celebrity, star or non-entity. I made the last one up but you get my point.

Anyway, I find it hard to believe that anyone is interested in this useless information that serves no purpose other than to make people feel anxious that their own wedding isn't quite wowee enough.

What tosh! My advice is to give a wide berth to anything that is labelled 'must have' prefixed by the word uber and followed by the words, cool or stylish or claims to be any kind of trend.

It's that flimsy and fickle you can turn anything that you want into a trend and it doesn't have to be led by a s'leb to be acceptable. You go ahead and take great pleasure in doing your own thing, you'll find it so much more enjoyable and rewarding.

Who said the camera never lies?

I firmly believe that one of the main reasons that weddings have become so ridiculous and out of hand is the majority obsession with celebrity.
The desire to emanate their perceived life of glamour and million dollar style positively erupts as soon as a wedding is on the cards.



I read a good article in last weekends Mail on Sunday called Do You Have Celebrity Envy?
It attempts to reveal that the the charmed life they appear to lead is nothing more than a cleverly cultivated image captured on celluloid to con society that this is where the party's at and this is how you need to be to call yourself 'somebody'. Unfortunately, too many believe it to be true and follow suit by buying the same labels, taking the same holidays and eating in the same restaurants-generally living way beyond their means.

In reality, the celebrity is being dictated to by society and the media, constantly having to live up to expectations by presenting the façade they believe everyone wants to see. The stunning photo is a contrived moment that generally doesn't represent the reality of their life and what is going on beneath the surface.

Now, one of the most anticipated parts of a wedding day has become, not the ceremony but the photographs! So much time, energy and money is put into getting the perfect shot where the bride looks beautiful, slim, glamorous, radiant, so very, very happy. She is surrounded by her matching bridesmaids, with her handsome man, and yes, in that one she looks just like a film star! The dream has been achieved and captured forever for everyone to see.

There is nothing wrong with that so long as the drive it takes to get those perfect wedding photos hasn't overtaken the real meaning of the wedding day and the happiness that they show is much more than skin deep.

Happiness cannot be bought, It doesn't come from material wealth, a glitzy lifestyle or outer beauty-celebrity doesn't equal happiness-perhaps quite the opposite. Like the other great things in life, happiness comes from WITHIN and your acceptance and celebration of yourself, your ability to love with all your heart and an understanding of what it means to be generous and kind. I truly believe that-well, I know it to be true.

Once you get that, the pursuit of happiness from outside means; material things and a perfect image, seems to just fall by the wayside. You'll see right through those glossy celebrity mags and instead of wishing you were more like them, you'll be content to just be you.

Then you are ready to get married!