Fantasy Weddings

A couple of weeks ago, I was involved in a documentary for Channel 5 about women who are planning their wedding but have no partner. That is,they are not in a relationship and therefore have no-one to marry, yet, they are still, seriously planning their wedding.

I was asked why they may do this and why the wedding fantasy is so powerful. Well, of course there is no one defining answer and each person will have a different set of reasons to drive them to such behaviour. I do believe though that the root of this lies in how much we are captivated and influenced by stories and how we identify with certain characters within the stories. We role play from an early age and for many females it is the princess that they aspire to be like. The one that is beautiful, rich, revered by many, special, important and rescued by the handsome prince.

For some people those two dimensional fairy stories continue into adulthood and that fairytale wedding is the realisation of their dreams. It signifies social success, status amongst their peers and validation that they are indeed, important, beautiful and worthy of love. For so many women that one wedding day represents so much.

For a minority of women, the fantasising has reached extreme proportions. So much that they have overlooked the importance of one vital ingredient-that of a partner. So focused are they on their fairytale wedding that they have arrested the development of other areas of their lives. They are out of balance and not rooted in reality and if a suitable partner does come their way, it is very likely that they will scare them off when they reveal that they have their wedding already planned!

Even today, in our modern world, full of confident, independent and successful woman, the wedding obsession exists. For many it really is the extension of their childhood fantasies and the news that Disney's 'princess weddings' has now become one of their most successful marketing ventures ever worth over $4billion, seems to reflect just that.

Sometimes, it is as if The Wedding and Getting Married are two very different things with no connection to each other. For some, unfortunately, the decision to get married has shallow roots-it is motivated by nothing more than the overwhelming desire to make their lifelong dreams come true and finally be the beautiful bride at their own fairytale wedding.

Really, the only thing that separates them from the women who are the subject of the documentary, is the fact that they have managed to find someone to have a wedding with.