Thursday 27 September 2007

Stress is a choice

My website stats tell me that many, many brides to be are anxious, stressed and nervous. This word stress is overused and really has so many meanings on so many levels. I think its used too lightly where words like irritated, impatient, confused, short fused, overwhelmed, I could go on, would be more appropriate. Why is is important? Well, it is because getting married is automatically linked with stress these days. We are told that certain aspects of wedding planning are stressful, and therefore people expect to be stressed, invite the stress and I believe, sorry, indulge in this stress thing. It does irk me because so much of the positive and joy in getting married and planning a wedding is overlooked,pushed aside or just ignored in favour of joining the stress party.

I want to say, loud and clear that getting married and planning a wedding doesn't have to be stressful. With the right approach, attitude and perception of what it's all about, the experience can be fulfilling, rewarding and life changing. It will be a challenging and demanding journey but anything worth doing in life is just that. When you dig below the surface, the reasons for the so called stress are usually emotional, rarely practical and with a desire to understand it and get to grips with it the situation can be turned around.

Love this quote' It's not the situation that's causing you stress, it's your thoughts, and you can change that right here and now. You can choose to be peaceful right here and now. Peace is a choice and it has nothing to do with what other people do or think. ' Gerald Jampolsky

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I so hear you on that!

When I was getting married fourteen years ago, it sometimes seemed that everyone's first response to the good news was 'you must be so stressed out' rather than 'you must be so happy' or 'are you having fun planning the wedding?'.

Yes, there are situations and families that create more stress for some brides than others, but I think at least 75% of the stress is self-imposed on most brides. I mean, in the longrun, how much does it matter whether the bouquets have seven roses or eight? Will it really have a negative effect on your marriage if the bridesmaids wish to forego updos? Women get into huge crying freakouts over tiny, tiny details that nobody will remember two days after the event is over.

The key is to keep things in perspective, choose your battles wisely, and know your own mind well enough not to be threatened when someone offers you unsolicited advice. If you can do those three things, you're golden.

And that's why I remember every minute of my wedding clearly, had a great time, and was remarked upon repeatedly as the world's calmest bride.

lesley said...

So, it's not just me.Phew!Thank goodness-it's lonely out here in the wilderness. Your advice is great, perhaps not so easy to carry out for some people who have lost all sense of self but I certainly agree with you.

I had a great experience too.That's the goal really, isn't it-to be in the moment on your wedding day-it's just the best. Thanks so much for your comments.