Last Rites or Wedding Rites?

I came across this today-Virginia Ironside wrote in The Oldie:

''But I have to say that, on the whole, I now far prefer funerals to formal weddings.
Why? I always think of people on these occasions as like a group of marbles on the floor. Have a wedding, and dozens more marbles are introduced and everyone gets pushed further and further out; have a funeral and, when one marble is removed from the gathering, the others all move in to close the gap. Funerals are full of compassion, forgiveness, comfort and kindness. Weddings are often places of fear and irritation, as strange people with sometimes opposing views confront each other.''

She's not wrong either. I have been to weddings that have tension positively hanging in the air and it's usually the more formal ones that have done everything by the book, spent all the money and are set on having the day running like clockwork. Somewhere along the line, in the need to impress, prove status and attain perfection, the point is being missed.

The best weddings are the ones that are personal, come from the heart and where the couple involved are surrounded by love and support no matter what other family dramas lay beneath the surface. When people can just forget themselves and enter into the spirit of the day, there is nothing quite like a wedding for warming the cockles of your heart.

Having said that, funerals cut to the chase. They are humbling and often disarming and generally everyone knows what's what. They provide an opportunity to think deeply and contemplate ones life and often , it's true they do bring out the best in people where weddings, sometimes bring out the absolute worst. Ooh, it's a tough call! What's your preference?!!