VALUABLE VOWS!

Last Sunday 21st October was our wedding anniversary. We married seven years ago at Portmeirion in North Wales on the most beautiful autumn day that felt more like late summer. And seven years later in Brighton, the warm sunshine and clear blue skies brought the memory of our wedding day to the forefront of our minds and put us in a mood conducive to good times.

I wrote a blog entry on the day but somehow lost it before I posted. Perhaps it was fate-maybe it was too sentimental. In a nutshell, I admitted that this year had been a struggle. Though we have been in a relationship for 20 years, we were both feeling the seven year itch thing-some days wondering why we were together feeling nothing but distance between each other.

We have changed a lot; evolved-me especially. We realise that we need to re-establish our relationship to each other and not expect things to just remain the same. We need to continue evolving as a couple. The good news is the desire to do that is there for both of us.

Our wedding anniversary was more significant than we had anticipated. We expected little and got a lot. We got each other. With nothing really planned we just allowed the day to unfold and as we wandered down to the beach and had lunch at a restaurant overlooking the sea, I felt thankful and content to still be married. It was effortlessly special and naturally romantic.

I write this for a reason. WEDDING VOWS. Without them, we may well have thrown in the towel before now. When you allow yourself to be in the moment and emotionally connect with your vows, it is a powerful feeling indeed. The tradition and ritual of a wedding ceremony, civil or religious, cannot be underestimated. It is the nucleus and substance of your wedding and the thing that can make the grandest impact on you and your life. Getting married, for me, was a much needed anchor, for my husband too I believe.

I married a man that I loved. Nothing more, nothing less. He was an imperfect match and still is. Sometimes, I question whether I love him in the same way but then I'm reminded that I still do-I care for him too and he has always, always been able to make me laugh-his wit is inimitable.

At the time, I knew why I was getting married, what it meant to me , it's place in my life and I understand that even more now. It's one of life's opportunities that I think is very often misread and misunderstood. Here's my take on it-it's a simple quote by a man called Joseph Barth which sums it all up for me, 'Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.' Within a sea of stress and anxiety, confusion and doubt, that quote is a helpful beacon of light that can make sense of all the modern day pre wedding madness and help to show you the way.

Then, you have your vows. If they come from you, and you speak them from your heart, they will be absorbed into your being and when you veer off course, they will be right there to put you back on track. Suck it and see. It's working for me!