I don't know about anyone else, but I thought that Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie on her wedding day in the new Sex & the City film looked like a cross between Cruella de Ville and a character from a restoration comedy. Over made-up and over styled, she just looked daft! It was more like a spoof of Sex & the City -I found it hard to believe that they were serious.The wedding dress is a big old subject. So big in fact that it now has a TV show dedicated to choosing one.
'Say Yes to the Dress,' is a 13 part series on U.S. channel TLC. Here's a taster-the clip I saw went like this- Assistant: 'What do you want to look like in your dress?' Bride to be: 'Barbie.' !!!!!!!! It's billed as part fashion show, part bridal story, part family therapy and tells the 'fascinating tales of the women who are in search of the most important dress they will ever buy.'
And with message like that, it's no wonder that for many brides, the success of their wedding day depends on finding that one perfect dress. In their minds, it is the thing that finally transforms them from normal to special to fulfil their lifelong fantasy of a fairytale wedding. It is a major issue and after the date and venue are decided, it's at the top of the list as a priority.
I do feel that a brides attitude towards her dress is often indicative of her attitude towards her wedding. Too much focus on the dress usually means little or no focus on the reason that she's wearing it in the first place. Whereas, the bride who is consciously preparing herself to be married, who is looking forward to the action and words of the ceremony may well place less emphasis on searching for a dress that makes her feel and look like a princess. She is more likely to want a dress that says something about who she is, on the inside.
When the dress comes up during coaching, my question is, 'Who do you want to be on your wedding day? What aspects of yourself do you want to highlight-which parts of your character and personality do you want to bring out and get in touch with?How will you capture your unique style?Indeed, what is your unique style? These are thought provoking questions that help to reveal how you feel about yourself.
If I'm honest, I sometimes think that full on wedding dresses look a bit ridiculous. What looked good in the shop, often looks out of place in the venue and it's a good idea to take that into account. Think about the size, style and mood of the place that you will marry in before you get carried away and in your weak, 'Oh mommy moment', ( One Perfect Day, by Rebecca Mead describing the moment the bride believes she finds THE dress of dresses) you get stung for a veil and tiara too! The last thing you want to do is look back at your photos and think,'what on earth possessed me to wear THAT. What was I thinking?
It's so easy to get swept along by the romance of it all, and to buy into that whole bridal image hook, line and sinker. I'm not saying don't do it-I'm just suggesting some thought, some contemplation about yourself and who you are at the centre of it all so that your dress choice comes from you. You got it-from THE INSIDE OUT!
2 comments:
I spent a great deal of time and effort on my wedding gown. Actually, I spent a year making the lace for it. But that was part of my self-expression. I make lace. I'm fascinated with historical costume (the gown wound up looking like it stepped straight out of Pride and Prejudice - one of my favorite books ever). I march to a very different drummer than most. So while I put a huge amount of thought and effort into a dress I would only wear once, the effort, I think, was not wasted as it might have been had I spent the same time searching bridal salons for that one, perfect gown that nobody would ever have made as a commercial product. On my wedding dsy, there was no question of me not looking like me.
On the other hand, I saw an episode of a wedding planning show recently (in a grueling, week-long marathon of ghastly reality shows about weddings so I could discuss them intelligently over at Manolo for the Brides) where a bride was roundly chastised for her attitude about choosing a gown, but I thought she did something really thoughtful and intelligent.
The gown didn't particularly matter to her beyond wearing something white and relatively traditional. She was on a tight budget that her wedding planner kept encouraging her and her fiance to blow. She took her mother with her to the bridal salon, told the salesclerks her price range, refused to even look at gowns outside that range, and chose the one that made her mother cry and tell her how beautiful she looked.
I thought that was both sensible and thoughtful of someone else. How do you beat that combination?
I love this! It must have been the most satisfying and fulfilling feeling to be creating your wedding dress during the months before you married and then to finally put it on on your wedding day. That is absolutely being who you are and I hope that lots of brides to be get to read your comment.
There is nothing like creative acts of self expression to reduce feelings of stress-it's the perfect thing to do before you marry.
Post a Comment